$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember sheโs smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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