all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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