He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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