Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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