I heard we made out
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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