I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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