I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I need to stop coming to work sober
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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