is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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