There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize