And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize