do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
