awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
