my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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