What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
