No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
