I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
