Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
