I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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