Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
