Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
