The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
