Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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