Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
