I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
