you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
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I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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