So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
