dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
