Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
