maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
