i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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