you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I know her cup size but not her name....
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