Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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