My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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