He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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