If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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