quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
