so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
