dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
