I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...