in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
