If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
