He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
