White coat. Heels.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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