also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
