lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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