he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
