Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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