And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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