I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
