She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
