You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
