I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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