She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
