she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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