apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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