I wish I could punch you in the face.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
