so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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